


Waking

by Titanmaster_117



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Ambiguity, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Death, Dreams, Hallucinations, Nightmares, Or Is It?, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titanmaster_117/pseuds/Titanmaster_117
Summary: He was alive... Or was he?
Relationships: Natsuki Subaru & Rem, Natsuki Subaru/Suffering
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	Waking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [returnbydeath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/gifts), [Neisseria_Meningitidis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neisseria_Meningitidis/gifts), [suffaru41](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffaru41/gifts), [Flamingogogoogly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingogogoogly/gifts).



He woke up, and was thankful that he had been able to supress his scream.

His breath was shaky, as were his arms. His face was hot and red and slick with sweat, and his eyes were wet and sore.

The dreams that plagued him at night were gone now, replaced by a wanton feeling of those whom he had lost and then found and then lost all over again, time after time again as he replayed the same events in his mind from a loot house stained in blood to a violent screaming morningstar to a sharp cliff face to a head rolling to the side to an assassin to thousands of hands to a swarm of rabbits eating clawing gnashing crawling through his ribs eating his organs _**TUNNELLING DOWN HIS MOUTH TUNNELING UP HIS**_

Breathe.

He was alive.

He was alive.

He was alive...

…

…

…

…

Was he?

He needed to make sure.

He needed to check.

He needed to do something- Anything- To keep the monsters at bay and remind himself that he was still alive and not just in a twisted hell that he had wished upon himself.

He needed to know that he could still look himself in the mirror in the morning.

He clawed his way past the suddenly suffocating bedsheets and out of the room that shouldn't be as cold as it was yet seemed to glisten with ice and frost that wasn't there against the lonely moonlight, through halls that seemed a lot redder than they usually were, and found a mirror that he looked into and saw...

Not himself.

Not him.

Not this emaciated, ugly, horrific thing that let those that he cared about- Those that he loved and held dear- Die time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time again.

This wasn't him.

This was not him.

Not him.

Not him.

Not him.

Not him.

Not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him not him

His fingers dug into his arms, nails digging so deep into his rotten and gnawed and shucked flesh that they left half-moon red imprints that cried streams of blood down his arms, staining his arms a pinkish hue as his nails dug deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper still.

He was alive. He wasn't alive. He was alive. He wasn't alive. He was alive. He wasn't alive. He was alive. He wasn't alive. He was alive. He wasn't alive. He was-

A hand pressed itself against his own, and pained ugly brown eyes looked into wide blue.

"Don't."

He was alive.

Or was he?

After all, how could he be alive if she was here? How could he be alive if she was alive too? Was he hallucinating, or was the girl with sky-blue hair and ocean like eyes that sparkled with so much love in them that he could loose himself in them truly real? Truly here? Truly with him once more? Was this all real? In his head? A witch's hallucination.

He didn't know anymore.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

They walked together. Away from the mirror that no longer showed that hated face, down through the hallways that were now a shade paler, and into the room that was now just a little bit warmer.

They sat together in silence...

Silence...

Silence...

Silence...

Until finally, he worked up the courage to look at her, and ask:

"Why?"

And she looked at him, and smiled.

"You saved me. Now let me save you."

And just that night, one more life was saved.

If not of the body...

Then, perhaps...

Of the soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone help me, I should be working on Ascendancy and yet I can't stop writing these things.
> 
> Send help.


End file.
